I’ve thought a lot lately about my spiritual practices – probably because I can’t help but feel like I’ve been neglecting my spiritual self over the last while. I haven’t had any desire to draw tarot cards, to read scripture passages, nothing like that. The most I’ve done lately is read some posts in a couple Facebook groups I’m in, but that’s not fulfilling at all.

Talking to my therapist yesterday kind of helped me see that I’m avoiding a lot of feelings right now and I think I’m avoiding anything that’s going to push too deep spiritually too. I’m surviving right now and that’s all I feel capable of doing. Which is FINE. I don’t want to tell myself that I need to always be digging deep and processing shit or whatever because sometimes that isn’t feasible. And that’s okay.

But I do want to start picking at some of my spiritual ideas again because even while wanting to avoid… anything and everything… I still feel a little empty when I’m not doing or practicing anything at all. My therapist coached me through finding some new ways to self care through this whole pandemic chaos and I need to find some small way to stay connected to my spiritual side so that I don’t feel quite so empty.

Some of my ideas are… guided meditations or grounding techniques – but that is more for my mental/focus aspect.

Going back to a daily card pull and reacquainting myself with my tarot deck – sounds good but feels overwhelming.

Reading? This might be the easiest one… I can read some of my books, but I don’t necessarily have to connect or dig deep into myself unless I really want to. Hmmm.

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Ideally, I would have a lovely little spiritual practice and be connected to that side of myself all the time, but that’s just not realistic, especially not right now in these times. Right now, it’s more about surviving and staying intact, despite the chaos that surrounds us. So I feel like I should do what I can to connect with my soul when I feel able to. And sometimes perhaps I’ll try and push myself a little so that maybe I can heal slowly… there seems to be a lot of healing that needs to be done to my heart and my soul.

Originally, I wanted to write about how I’ve been analyzing what my beliefs actually are because I’ve felt a little confused lately. But that seemed too deep a subject all of a sudden, and one that I had no desire to think about right now… so I’ll come back to that later when I’ve been able to do some soul searching.